So I've been thinking I need/want to post a new blog. But not much about my faith and my God-journey has been on my mind except what I blogged about most recently. Prayer. Not just prayer, but the power of prayer. What it does. What God does.
We all know that prayer usually has two purposes: to say to God, "Pretty Please" or "Thanks Man!" I try to say thanks more than I say please...well...just because. It seems like the right thing to do, right? Jeremy and I pray before every meal, something my family never did when I was growing up, with the exception of Thanksgiving. I don't like to be the one in charge of the praying because I'm not sure what to say, I'm worried if I'll sound stupid in front of Jeremy and think that I could never pray as well as him. I'm taking baby steps with the out loud dinner praying. Presently, I'm only in charge of dinner-praying when we eat out at Valentino's, my fav. guilty pleasure Italian buffet. However, since it's my fav. we go there about once a week.
When he and I both pray, we always first thank God for our meal. Jeremy does it because he believes God provides us with all our food, I Thank God for our food because that's what Jeremy does. :)
God didn't make that pizza for me, he didn't made the dough, cook the tomatoes, brown the meat. He didn't even grow the vegetables on his farm. Yes, some of you may say, OH YES HE DID! HE GAVE US THIS EARTH TO GROW FOOD!....Whatever. Why I am not thanking God for Earth before breakfast then, instead of for my pancakes?
All this babbling comes down to a few small thoughts: The reason why I am on this journey; seeking, asking, studying, reading, is because I want to KNOW why I believe what I do, I want proof, I want reasons behind it, I don't want to praise God because that's the norm, or because I'm afraid to go to hell or afraid to do anything else, I want to praise God because I have learned about God and talked to Christians and decided that's what I believe.
That's my little issue with prayer: I don't want to pray just because that's what good Christian people do. I want to KNOW why I pray. I want to KNOW why I thank God for things that God may not give me, directly, indirectly, in any way.
I imagine that my asking this question is becoming a bit redundant, my apologies. I suppose I am just not hearing or seeing or finding a sufficient answer to my questions. Yet.