So sue me. I haven't been blogging. It's been like...ahem...3 WEEKS! I haven't forgot you old dear blog....
:( I just...don't have anything to say. It's sad since I tend to have A LOT to say, but usually it's nothing to go out and tell the world about. This blog was mainly started to talk about my journey with my faith, and I finally started doing it when my mom was diagnosed with cancer. The blog then was fueled by my reading of the Old Testament, and the things I was thinking, feeling, experiencing while reading it. Well, brace yourself, I've stopped reading it.
Don't get mad! It's not permanent, it's not even intentional, I just haven't been doing it. I think I got burned out. I was reading up to a book a night. Which is a lot, at least to me. I think the issue started when I got to Psalms. *Pausing for gasp.* Yes, I know everyone loves the Psalms. Why would she ever have a problem with them?!?!?
OK, the problem with Psalms is, it's very very very long. Like 150 Chapters long. Another problem is, I'm reading the contemporary version of The Bible, "The Message." It is GREAT! Don't get me wrong, it's doing all the things I'm needing it to do. It's explaining and telling me the story of God, Jesus, Faith, Love in a very easy was for me to read and understand. However, the romance, the fancy word plays, the beautiful rhyme and rhythm of the more traditional forms of the Bible is missing. Like one of the most famous verses in the Bible, In Psalms, "The Lord is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want...." is translated into The Message version, as..."God, my Shepherd! I don't need a thing!" As you can see...the second version is lacking. The thing I love about The Message is the thing I dislike most about it. It took me alonggggg time to get through Psalms for that reason, it didn't move me, it didn't bring back all the times people have quoted, sang, preached, the Psalms, because it wasn't there. The verses were stripped. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't nastaglic.
I understand this, and I respect it. The Message has a specific purpose, to let us read the Bible in a way that people can easily understand the concepts and the stories. It does take away the magic, which is why it took me so long to get through Psalms, because Psalms are all prayers and songs. Prayers and songs stripped of their romance and magic are not prayers and songs at all. So, my awesome Bible reading machine stalled. Pretty bad actually. I FINALLY got through Psalms a few weeks ago and have started Proverbs, which is better. But, since the night I started reading Proverbs and got about half way through it, was the last time I have read it.
I don't have any excuse, my life isn't busy, things with my mom are much better, I've just lost my enthusiasm and motivation. Dang that Old Testament is long!!!!
However, I will get through it. I'm just looking and waiting for a kick in the butt from the enthusiasm monster.
P.S. About my title....NOTHING to do with my current blog, I was going to blog about Battlestar Galactica (if you haven't seen it, it won't make sense.) Don't laugh at the Battlestar Galactica future blog. This show is/was amazing and has so many ideas and messages about God and humanity and what we are doing to ourselves that it is DEFINITELY worthy of the next blog. Sooooo, stay tuned!
Showing posts with label bible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bible. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Attention: All God-fearing people!
Before I read the Bible and started reading and talking about this faith journey I'm on, I never understood why people would define themselves as a "God Fearing Man." Or woman for that matter. They always described themselves in this manner when talking about how they were faithful Christians and lived a God-centered life. So I was confused. God was our father. God was papa, he loved us and blessed us and looked after us and we are his children. Why are we fearing him? I don't fear my mother that loves me and takes care of me. The only reason I would fear God was if I didn't believe in him or if I was a crazy-pants sinner. Why would good Christians be proud that they were "God-fearing?" These were my thoughts before I read the bible.
Now that I have read the New Testament and am a good way into the Old Testament, I understand this. God is scary!!! I hope I don't get negative points in the Sara-going-to-heaven checklist book for saying that and saying the things to come....But come on!
OK wait, first let me say, I really should have read the Old Testament before the New, I would have understand the New alot better if I had read the Old first. So, now after I read the Old, I'm going back to read the New again, because the God I am getting to know in the Old, is much different than the one I got to know in the New.
Back to what I am finding out reading the Old...(still hoping I don't get negative points here)...God is a bit like a women during THAT time of the month. He seems to be very temperamental, unpredictable, scary and sometimes...dare I say it, cruel and unfair. He killed people for the sins of their ancestors, was quick to make deadly decisions and had no problem taking our millions of people because they did not worship him. I have made it to the book of Ruth so far in the Old Testament, and I'll tell you, reading up to Ruth has been rough. It is said many a times, God is a jealous God. YA THINK?!?!?! He certainly is. God also says many times, Fear Me. I am God, fear God. I asked my husband why we should fear God, and he thinks fear used in that way means Respect. OK, well I can respect God, and that sounds a lot nicer....but if it's supposed to mean Respect, why doesn't it say respect. I have a feeling it means Fear, and we should Fear.
God did a lot of things that I do not understand and that I feel bad about. I especially feel bad for Moses. Moses worked his butt off! He put up with the Israelites that were acting like toddlers, not listening, giving him a hard time, had all that pressure of being the sole person between all of the Israelites and God, and God would not let him join the Israelites in the Promised Land just because he made a little (in my eyes) mistake.
God does show a lot of mercy and a lot of forgiveness in the Bible, as well. Even though he is harsh, he also says if you ask for forgiveness, I will forgive you, and he does every time. Why couldn't he have been merciful with Moses. If ANYBODY deserved that stinkin' Promised Land it was Moses.
I feel like the Israelites were learning, toddlers like I am in the school of God and Faith, and they weren't given any wiggle room. They weren't given any chance to fail and try again. This really hits home for me because I am just like the Israelites. I am learning, I feel the need to test God, I don't have all my faith ducks in a row. I desperately need mercy, I need God to allow me to make mistakes and falter in my faith and allow me to get back up and dust myself off and keep going on my journey without being damned. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am seeing things the wrong way, but all I can say is, THANK GOD FOR JESUS!!!!
Now that I have read the New Testament and am a good way into the Old Testament, I understand this. God is scary!!! I hope I don't get negative points in the Sara-going-to-heaven checklist book for saying that and saying the things to come....But come on!
OK wait, first let me say, I really should have read the Old Testament before the New, I would have understand the New alot better if I had read the Old first. So, now after I read the Old, I'm going back to read the New again, because the God I am getting to know in the Old, is much different than the one I got to know in the New.
Back to what I am finding out reading the Old...(still hoping I don't get negative points here)...God is a bit like a women during THAT time of the month. He seems to be very temperamental, unpredictable, scary and sometimes...dare I say it, cruel and unfair. He killed people for the sins of their ancestors, was quick to make deadly decisions and had no problem taking our millions of people because they did not worship him. I have made it to the book of Ruth so far in the Old Testament, and I'll tell you, reading up to Ruth has been rough. It is said many a times, God is a jealous God. YA THINK?!?!?! He certainly is. God also says many times, Fear Me. I am God, fear God. I asked my husband why we should fear God, and he thinks fear used in that way means Respect. OK, well I can respect God, and that sounds a lot nicer....but if it's supposed to mean Respect, why doesn't it say respect. I have a feeling it means Fear, and we should Fear.
God did a lot of things that I do not understand and that I feel bad about. I especially feel bad for Moses. Moses worked his butt off! He put up with the Israelites that were acting like toddlers, not listening, giving him a hard time, had all that pressure of being the sole person between all of the Israelites and God, and God would not let him join the Israelites in the Promised Land just because he made a little (in my eyes) mistake.
God does show a lot of mercy and a lot of forgiveness in the Bible, as well. Even though he is harsh, he also says if you ask for forgiveness, I will forgive you, and he does every time. Why couldn't he have been merciful with Moses. If ANYBODY deserved that stinkin' Promised Land it was Moses.
I feel like the Israelites were learning, toddlers like I am in the school of God and Faith, and they weren't given any wiggle room. They weren't given any chance to fail and try again. This really hits home for me because I am just like the Israelites. I am learning, I feel the need to test God, I don't have all my faith ducks in a row. I desperately need mercy, I need God to allow me to make mistakes and falter in my faith and allow me to get back up and dust myself off and keep going on my journey without being damned. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am seeing things the wrong way, but all I can say is, THANK GOD FOR JESUS!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)