I read an amazing book over the summer called "O Me of Little Faith." It's written by a Christian man that is a self-proclaimed doubter. He talks a lot about how you can be a God-loving Christian and still think sometimes..."Uhhh, can that really happen?" or..."That seems a little hard to believe..." This book changed my life. It made it OK for me to be on this road and have questions. It didn't mean I was a non-believer or not-worthy, it meant that I doubt. Sometimes more so than not, and that is OK. Whenever I chat to other doubters or people on the journey that I am on, I have been referring this book, it truly is amazing.
Something that the author, Jason Boyett
(Check out his website here: http://blog.beliefnet.com/omeoflittlefaith/ ) talks about is taking a Leap of Faith and what that means. His discussion of this was a major light bulb moment for me. He discussed why this such amazing thing is called a LEAP of faith. Have you ever thought about that? Why a LEAP?! Faith is rough. Faith means you believe in something that you can't see, that you can't really prove. Some people can have faith pretty easily, like my husband. He decided in high school, I believe this, the end. Most of the time when I bring up hard questions that sometimes don't make sense regarding Christianity, and want proof, or an explanation, he doesn't usually give it. Why not? Because he has never thought about proof or an explanation. Because he doesn't need it. I'll ask "Why do you believe that?" His answer usually is..."I just do." Oh, OK, great, thanks for the help, buddy! My dear husband has faith. Unwavering faith. He believes. No doubt. Some people, yours truly included, aren't so lucky.
We are the leapers. If we ever find a way to LEAP on over there to that aawweeeeeeesome thing, faith, we gotta leap. Ain't no strolling or skipping or leisurely walk. We are LEAPING HERE PEOPLE! What do you imagine when you here the word "leap." I imagine someone getting a longgg head start run, kind of like a long-jumper, running running running hard and fast and then taking the biggest hardest jump their body can musters. That's a leap to me.
Sounds about right.
Faith to me is this ridiculously hard long-jumper leap. Not a Stroll of Faith, or a Little Jump of Faith.
Most of the time I yearn to be like my husband, one of those people that can stroll on over to faith, no problem, no leap needed. But sometimes, I think to myself, maybe leaping can be a good thing. If I was able to believe so easily, I wouldn't be learning the things I am, I wouldn't be forming the relationships I have been, I wouldn't ask questions all the time and I wouldn't push myself harder and harder to KNOW God the way I need to.
Guess I better start practicing my leaps.